Week 7

Sunday June 6, 1880
Vandalism of Parliament

The Palace of Westminster, where both the House of Lords and House of Commons sit, has been vandalised. Elizabeth Tower, where the famous bell Big Ben is found, was painted with seditionist messages and a drawing of a multi-headed serpent. The landmark is already been thoroughly cleaned and the army have once more been brought back to the city to deal with this wave of extreme crimes.

Claude Atterton: The Napoleon of Crime

Scotland Yard is offering a substantial reward for the capture, or information which leads to the capture, of one Claude Atterton. This criminal mastermind has been linked to a robbery at the Bank of England, the shocking vandalism of Elizabeth Tower and threatening a police officer. He is to be considered armed and dangerous.

Otto Fulcrum Wanted for Questioning Mr. Otto Fulcrum unveils brand new statue in Hyde Park on Sunday morning. The statue bears an uncanny resemblance to Mr. Odie Smith, who Fulcrum claims was the inspiration for his new piece. Upon unveiling the statue, it appeared to cry tears of blood and was covered up immediately. The timing of his new art piece coincides suspiciously with the disappearance of Mr. Odie Smith, who was reported Missing on Sunday afternoon. He was spotted Saturday afternoon at the Crystal Palace Exhibition and witnesses report that he took a carriage to his home that very evening. Mr. Otto Fulcrum is currently wanted for questioning by the Metropolitan Police.

Working Reforms Passed and Strike Ended

Following the general strike that has been ongoing for the past month, Parliament yesterday passed a recent bill negotiated between the TUC and Downing Street. The bill increases the minimum wage, and reduces the maximum work week alongside a number of pieces of legislation regarding worker safety. A last minute push to add in elements meant to address the smog failed to go through however, a statement from No. 10 states "That while we are committed to the safety of all, this issue is one for us all and not just those in the factories". .

Wedding Event of the Season at the Honeywillow Estate Not one, but *four* couples are to be married this week at Kallos Kagathos’ Honeywillow Estate, including both catches of the season. The lucky couples include Kallos Kagathos and Lilian Thompson, Victor Moore and Jemisha Burke, Timothy Liu and Wilhelmina Mink, and Fiona Kelly and Matthew Hennesey. Lord Erastus was sorely missed, though his portrait was hung and certainly he was there in spirit. James Voyage and Katelyn Doyle also got married at a small, private ceremony this weekend, though they attended the larger reception with the others.

Dalán-dé-London’s Wildest Society Member Dead Sybarite Dalán-dé presumed dead after a wild party this weekend on the edge of the Thames. A gunshot was heard just before the Sybarite fell, bleeding, into the River. The shooter has not been identified. Bennett Otis and Night Mather, their paramours, were present at the event and beside themselves with grief. They led partygoers down the river, following glimpses of their lover until they ultimately lost sight of her. Funeral to take place on Friday.

Father Thames Growing in Popularity Superstitions abound this week as Father Thames grows in popularity. Dozens of confusing reports and rumours abound. Father Thames meets people under bridges to help them with their problems. In other versions, a wet and bearded spectre of a man threatens pub goers. Despite these rumours, evidence of bodies washed up on the river along with their stories- things that only friends and family would know- have been spotted all over the city. Londoners have even become more inspired to pick up litter, especially along the banks of the Thames. Whether or not this so-called cult is ultimately a benefit for London remains to be seen.

Green Mechanics Under Investigation  A variety of evidence was presented this week by Wilhelmina Mink, Timothy Liu, and Violet Benjamin about the criminal and ethical misdeeds of Guinevere Green. The labour conditions of the factory have been particularly poor and, despite being presented with this evidence, Lady Green has, up until now, stubbornly refused to acknowledge or amend any failings in either her company or her management thereof. Lady Green is currently undergoing questioning by the Metropolitan Police. In the meantime, she has voluntarily given up her ownership of Green Mechanics to the workers.

Smog Lightens The smog is still hazardous, but seems to be letting up slightly. The death toll continues to climb, but slows, with injuries and illness being more common. Please continue to limit the amount of time spent outdoors for your safety

Electrical Disruption!

An unexplained electrical disturbance on Saturday caused temporary power outages to the city’s electrical lights, first installed two years ago, and disrupted telegram services. Several telegraph operators were electrocuted, though thankfully none were severely injured. No disruption so severe has occurred since the Carrington Event of September 1859, though astronomers do not believe a solar flare occurred on this occasion.

Whitechapel Watch

In this time of crime and uncertainty, the Illustrated News is happy to report some citizens have banded together to form a neighbourhood watch in Whitechapel. This organisation has caused a decrease in crime rates and improved safety in the area without costing taxpayers a shilling! Similar watches are forming around the city.

Priceless Prostheses

Ezra Godwin, a previous obscure engineer, has unveiled incredible devices to assist those who lose limbs through injury. Though at this point in time these devices are too expensive for mass production, the philanthropic inventor has released the blueprints for all to use. Experts in the field claim this is an incredible breakthrough and Mister Godwin’s blueprints have implications far beyond medical prostheses!

A Freak Storm On Sunday, Londoners will recall the brief but memorable storm that hit London. Meteorologists are reportedly baffled by this unexplained event.

PERSONAL, &c.
THOMPSON FAMILY-- Highly recommends Otto Fulcrum’s Construction. He and his team were subcontracted to reconstruct the recently burnt down Clearwater Druggist. They efficiently rebuilt the structure to a much better standard in less than a week! Exceptional work at reasonable prices.

FLORIN WEAVER--If you care about nature and want to enjoy it, consider becoming a member of the Wilderness Explorers Club. This week's event focuses on protecting our waterways. Merit badges will be awarded to attendees. Lunch will be provided. Meet at the statue of Father Thames at 9am on Saturday.

LET THEM EAT SMOG-- Brand new essay published this week by Ms. Nora Mather, in which creative people in the future find creative uses for smog, including putting it into meat pies and selling it as a high carb treat.

WHITECHAPEL ORPHANAGE-- Received a makeover this weekend. Ms. Dawn Joyce, assisted by the Orphanage staff and Mr. Oliver Merritt himself, organized the orphans to paint beautiful murals just outside. All are welcome to stop by and take a look.

CLEARWATER SOAP COMPANY-- Established by Dr. Chandra Aurelian with assistance from Dr. Wren Blackwell and the Rt. Hon. Isobel Beveridge, among others. Ms. Mabel Clearwater will be spearheading the new company and looks forward to providing health benefits to the citizens of London once more.

NEW POET-- Spotted in Hyde Park Speakers’ Corner this weekend. Their eloquent poem about the glory of Zeus drew much attention. Unconfirmed reports claim that the poet was Baroness Annabelle Mariposa in disguise.